So, there is a ball, a proverbial one, and I dropped that damned thing! Better yet I haven’t found it yet. I’m the ass hat that has been sitting on two podcasts like they’re post apocalyptic currency. That’s right folks, it’s my fault. But our precious little home on the interweb isn’t the only thing in a period of transition, I myself have been moved to the graveyard shift and making the time to do anything has been made difficult as being up late isn’t quite as fun as I imagined. But it has led me to a strange epiphany. WHAT IN THE BLOODY HELL HAS HAPPENED TO THE ACTION MOVIE!?
I have been on a tear the last week or so trying to find an action movie that I haven’t seen that leaves me satisfied. It all started with Bad Boys II. I am well aware that it is a Michael Bay movie and that makes it virtually unwatchable. But, my love of Hot Fuzz makes watching Bad Boys II more of a novelty, as almost immediately upon it’s completion Hot Fuzz makes it’s way into my DVD player. But otherwise, action movies nowadays really suck! I watched Shooter with Mark Wahlberg, and aside from learning that Marky Mark should NEVER attempt to grow facial hair (seriously…GROSS!) the rising action was actually amazing. Though it didn’t explain what was going on, it showed different aspects of sharp shooting that aren’t usually seen let alone explained. And right as the tension can be bore no longer…fizzle. WTF?!
My priority here is to entertain myself, so I’ve diligently avoided anything with Michael Dudikoff or Dolph Lundgren…I don’t think my disappointed psyche could sustain such a blow. I need John Carpenter’s Kurt Russel, the Arnold and Sly of the 80′s, Nick Cage versus a paranormal enemy. By the gods we need action. Action that doesn’t even have the faintest hint of Michael Bay brain splooge on it, for that my friends is just blasphemy…I’ll give him The Rock though, Ed Harris and Sean Connery saved that one.